Lingerie Lad Flashes By

With thanks to AMS for the image

The Fumigator

This wonderful account was sent to me recently:

"Walking down the personal hygiene aisle in the supermarket in Northland, i spotted a guy  moving quickly along the aisle spraying the contents of a not unpleasant smelling can onto other products on the shelves. The woman working nearby gave him a stern talking to. Then i noticed he was wearing a 'Reservoir Hogs" T Shirt....."

It goes without saying that I want one of these shirts. 
Interesting thing is though, that when I sought out Reservoir Hogs, I discovered that it's one of two Harley dealers in Reservoir: there's Reservoir Hogs and Doc Hogs. I have to wonder how a suburb where many people struggle to maintain a single family car can support not one but TWO elite motorcycle outlets.

Thanks to B for the witness account

Going Down to Graceland

I think it's safe to say that this is the most amazing thing in all of Reservoir. In fact, I'm really not sure where I can go from here.

With HUGE thanks to A for the pic

Not Quite Right

I take the provenance of my material very seriously. There is a good deal of content I haven't posted because it was seen or heard outside the bounds of Reservoir. When people ask why I take such a serious stance on this, I tell them it's because I won't jeopardise the integrity of my blog. They tend to laugh at this point, though some just frown and take a few steps away from me.
I have to make an exception in this case, and I trust you will appreciate why. This picture was submitted to me from down the hill in Northcote. You will note that someone has fashioned a truly impressive swing / aerial fortress by suspending an NQR trolley from a tree. I'm guessing the scattered milk crates serve as some kind of hillbilly building blocks. Outstanding.
I'd rather not speculate what the bucket is for.

With thanks to SB for the image

Hector the Cat

Conversation between a father and his primary school age daughter:

"Get yer fucken bike onto the path."
"Cos that's how ya get hit by a fucken car an' ya die."

 For some reason all I thought of when I heard this was the Hector the Cat jingle. This dad could be the Hector of the new millennium.

Watch and enjoy: Hector the Cat

Taste the Rainbow

I can see two likely explanations for this magnificent display:
1) The outlet pipe from the meth lab next door isn't elevated enough 
2) The house is occupied by Resbians*

It's touchingly Reservoir that following such a flagrant outburst of freeform expression the household has continued to manicure the lawn with Diophantic precision, and then parked a car on it. 

* Resbian: A lesbian from Reservoir. 
Apparently this is a burgeoning demographic at present in the 'Voir. Exciting times. If you thought the collective noun "A Northcote of Lesbians" was edgy, try queue jumping a Resbian at the Broadway Puff 'n Stuff.

With thanks to A for the pic 

A Rose by Any Other Name

Amongst my fellow newcomers to Reservoir, I'm sad to say that there are a few who struggle with the implications of claiming this great suburb as their home. Indeed, it sits so heavily with some that they attempt to excise themselves Coyote Ugly style from Reservoir by inventing new suburbs, as though no-one will notice. The best known example of this is the ongoing propagation of the Regent myth, in which the real estate industry has been complicit. Another contender is the surprisingly grandiose Oakhill Estate in the Eastern end of Reservoir. While the names have legitimate origins, these areas nonetheless fall squarely within the great state of Rezza, and they will continue to do so until a film star or an elected member of parliament moves in. 
Of those who continue to argue the point I would ask only this:
What is your postcode? 
If it's 3073 you live in Reservoir. Suck it up.

And West Regent is Preston, so don't even think about trying that on.

Footnote: I am informed via indisputable heresay that former State Premier John Cain at one point lived in Oakhill Estate. I'm still not sure if this negates or supports my argument - after all he may well have been responsible for the title "Oakhill Estate" in the first place for all I know.

Happy Easter from the 'Voir!

There is a remarkable lack of fanfare surrounding Easter in Reservoir. I find this surprising in a suburb that celebrates most public holidays with the fervour of an Olympics host city. Doubly surprising for a holiday synonymous with discount chocolate.
I guess in a place where near-death experiences are such a commonplace part of life the story of the resurrection doesn't hold much stock. You could knock on almost any door in Reservoir and chances are that you would find someone who has been dead at least as many times as Jesus was. The difference is that they would probably preface their story with "You shoulda seen it. It was awesome......."
I think the holly next to this partially impaired rabbit is a nice touch. Nothing says Jesus quite like an incongruous grouping of pagan symbols.