tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79758101616831037442024-02-29T10:44:05.076+11:00'Voir TalesA Reservoir BlogUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger255125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-86542478285079905392020-12-09T18:02:00.000+11:002020-12-09T18:02:36.134+11:00Keep Driving....<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXIW9DX37TgjVd6yAWDgwzm8hMiKvn3pfbKLP7faeM-RBryoNIUQgk43fZpA4zcooEAbEgX1-JThf_GlgjTCmcCjA0b1avlM1Bjl8bZFT2cC6XI1RRCDDoQtRAFc9GtYCbNTNCkb9vPOE_/s2304/Scientology.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1120" data-original-width="2304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXIW9DX37TgjVd6yAWDgwzm8hMiKvn3pfbKLP7faeM-RBryoNIUQgk43fZpA4zcooEAbEgX1-JThf_GlgjTCmcCjA0b1avlM1Bjl8bZFT2cC6XI1RRCDDoQtRAFc9GtYCbNTNCkb9vPOE_/s320/Scientology.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">As Kevin waited he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that perhaps, in fact, <i>nothing</i> could be done about it. Perhaps, despite all his years of personal audits and financial investment, he was ultimately just a stuffed bear sitting in a van, and Reservoir was about as interested in financially scaled spiritual enlightenment as they were in cashless dole payments.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">With thanks to RA for the image. Pure gold.</span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-83300034165381371202020-07-09T15:56:00.003+10:002020-07-09T15:56:56.324+10:00"2020 is bullshit Daryl. I'm calling Christmas early."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNixgWgu8uBkA_N_JGe1k2y4NLW08wWP23FUu5sipRWy2-jBXeYwMwvB0tkVtVW97R45iYAPD8Pg335RSVfoSwq5Ce_p24SDwce21kt6D1_K2rIX4qzNXuaD7FIMJ6e0g_Ffp8DI1Xs6mX/s1600/IMG_3432.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNixgWgu8uBkA_N_JGe1k2y4NLW08wWP23FUu5sipRWy2-jBXeYwMwvB0tkVtVW97R45iYAPD8Pg335RSVfoSwq5Ce_p24SDwce21kt6D1_K2rIX4qzNXuaD7FIMJ6e0g_Ffp8DI1Xs6mX/s320/IMG_3432.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-53908816719025269182020-06-30T16:31:00.003+10:002020-11-04T18:35:08.137+11:00A Message of Hope<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr15HQysBTGeY87LZ9mZpk2K2I-gSvLYAljpQ8KF6Ib_4Kf4a-_qChKDI0or_k-RQFdPI65MH8kGlvhWLTwKzcDy9j7cESS9ZyMaQXFlEMwUNpGxd5pKO-hLNirUIbXBpK614uW9sxL8JY/s1600/IMG_3219.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr15HQysBTGeY87LZ9mZpk2K2I-gSvLYAljpQ8KF6Ib_4Kf4a-_qChKDI0or_k-RQFdPI65MH8kGlvhWLTwKzcDy9j7cESS9ZyMaQXFlEMwUNpGxd5pKO-hLNirUIbXBpK614uW9sxL8JY/s320/IMG_3219.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif" style="font-size: large;">My last post reminded me of a piece of unsolicited mail I received last month from my friends the Jehovah's Witnesses, who are quite active in Reservoir despite all contrary indications that their help is not required, and who have left reams of inaccessibly cryptic collateral under my door over the years.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ30xOMpoY5Armw5Auupvi1wPPKCSnRMn4-HQrdAogtdx5P-4K5GXXMtON-OcZUescfVV9itvnIy_2W14jtQpI2IOMioNiAfFfXdWb-rRV7JQbUeGZrFpoRCLqyNo2zsseJOiGyH__ZQYX/s1600/IMG_3220.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1060" data-original-width="1600" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ30xOMpoY5Armw5Auupvi1wPPKCSnRMn4-HQrdAogtdx5P-4K5GXXMtON-OcZUescfVV9itvnIy_2W14jtQpI2IOMioNiAfFfXdWb-rRV7JQbUeGZrFpoRCLqyNo2zsseJOiGyH__ZQYX/s320/IMG_3220.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif" style="font-size: large;">Last month I received the letter pictured. Firstly, I don't know why they feel they have to stop door knocking due to COVID 19, because it's not like anyone in Reservoir ever invites them in. Secondly, it was addressed to my surname and address, so I can assume they have a private database or a reverse White Pages at their disposal, which I feel someone should probably look into. Inside was the pictured handwritten letter and pamphlet. Ordinarily I would go to some lengths to obscure the name in a document like this, but I feel that in this case a) the name is fairly amusing, and b) Chryzelle forfeited her right to anonymity when she looked me up in a reverse White Pages or whatever and mail bombed me with this shit instead of forcing it uninvited under my door while I'm at work like she usually would.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif" style="font-size: large;">I was particularly impressed by the fact that Chryzelle had hand written this letter, as though she was labouring to communicate the import of her mission from a realm untouched by high speed printing devices. Spurred by her efforts, I took time to read her enclosed leaflet, and was unsurprised to find it was just another grouping of empty biblical verses used out of context rather than useful information about, say, where I could donate food or volunteer some help during a global pandemic.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif" style="font-size: large;">I was left thinking how many of these unsolicited letters Chryzelle and her mates had sent, how many dollar stamps and hours of handwriting they had invested in them. Then I wondered how many genuinely useful things they could have done with all that time and money during a global pandemic and immediately thought of dozens of simple and highly effective ideas, none of which involved sending unsolicited passive aggressive letters to strangers. I thought Chryzelle might find my suggestions useful, but she failed </span><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif" style="font-size: large;">to include a return address with her letter, which feels a bit unreasonable from someone who is asking for my eternal soul. I guess I'll just hand write my suggestions and save them for when the Jehovahs can knock at my door again. "Thank God you're here, " I'll say, "I've been waiting for you."</span><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-8700090938919869412020-06-26T16:46:00.000+10:002020-06-26T18:24:25.211+10:00Top Ten<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSmGiv9t9OXUteUP4XEi9VSjQkPDRDWEN6DRSiBurMtyYAgUFpHjIoLtesow77mDIb60tashunk7h_zO5whOn0ruh2a_NofyHUUObDcxOdNDuvNZRbWRjbssp1Z9wPLlJN98RCg94Ei7DK/s1600/COVID+19.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="188" data-original-width="605" height="99" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSmGiv9t9OXUteUP4XEi9VSjQkPDRDWEN6DRSiBurMtyYAgUFpHjIoLtesow77mDIb60tashunk7h_zO5whOn0ruh2a_NofyHUUObDcxOdNDuvNZRbWRjbssp1Z9wPLlJN98RCg94Ei7DK/s320/COVID+19.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Rezza doesn't make many top ten lists, and when we do it's rarely in the aspirational categories. For some years we used to be a winner in various "affordability" scales, with all that entails. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">More recent accolades have included the </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">top ten suburbs for most thefts from cars, and </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">top ten suburbs for number plate thefts. It was little surprise to me then, to hear that we are among the top ten suburbs to contract COVID 19 in Melbourne this June, and that we are now a hotspot requiring intervention. Apparently at some point we can expect door knockers who will have a chat to us about the virus, and probably our general hygiene and soforth. It will be a nice change from the Jehovahs I guess, but everyone will need to be more careful about hiding the bong before answering the door.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-78826309075500935022020-03-10T21:21:00.000+11:002020-03-10T21:21:18.506+11:00Buckle Up<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLAUJimcyWL80NtsZSovs4aS3MzEEBlirs3863i3d3r7a39LlXhrAOYnfrxvZ-PgucTEe05hGnyUW73rsr44KEA_2R_aqtrsWtFsgZTAj_-IgIzNRwN0l6TFrjXJrZDaqYeqIDdwGq_q5Q/s1600/IMG_2269.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="978" data-original-width="1600" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLAUJimcyWL80NtsZSovs4aS3MzEEBlirs3863i3d3r7a39LlXhrAOYnfrxvZ-PgucTEe05hGnyUW73rsr44KEA_2R_aqtrsWtFsgZTAj_-IgIzNRwN0l6TFrjXJrZDaqYeqIDdwGq_q5Q/s320/IMG_2269.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">If you're going to come up here with an "I 💛 sluts" bumper sticker, make sure your car is a straight six at the very very least. This thing will be stripped for parts and set on fire and dumped out by the airport before he even wakes up.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-23211160042212957792020-03-10T20:54:00.000+11:002020-03-10T20:55:24.200+11:00Shiver Me Timbers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHN12dSmRZdJC9NTRCKMSD7gQLQl97afjrq0NdbStowUgBrhWnJXsup_PSKdJQaEHtAHLf2JLLuO1BjQV3NYxEBvd7k8YqrZRQuVmNNN06lfxXD2SwoRUJ6n4Pop0auwyeiSe-J6EcdAz7/s1600/IMG_2800.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHN12dSmRZdJC9NTRCKMSD7gQLQl97afjrq0NdbStowUgBrhWnJXsup_PSKdJQaEHtAHLf2JLLuO1BjQV3NYxEBvd7k8YqrZRQuVmNNN06lfxXD2SwoRUJ6n4Pop0auwyeiSe-J6EcdAz7/s320/IMG_2800.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Seen in the carpark outside Coles: what appears to be a rather petite shiv, next to a menthol cigarette butt. I'm picturing a delicate local lass who was getting geared up to shop for some toilet paper.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-60884745113996529282019-12-25T11:10:00.000+11:002019-12-25T11:10:48.047+11:00Merry Christmas From The 'Voir!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dw_35EL63b_gGyuj-F843pbNkUEhErWUBAykQ-c2SQ5hHAVWSikIGfr5vutM_3Y5F5Tc8VkklIio5nF4-TINw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Well if this isn't just the spirit of a 'Voir Christmas - it lights up</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">, makes a lot of noise, but doesn't really go anywhere. And the sound of thongs slapping purposefully in the background of course.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-46191960872407365282019-12-19T20:56:00.000+11:002019-12-19T20:56:23.819+11:00Down by the River<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBgYOPcZ-UV_4JaezUvruFTAfJf-nKieZ1lLKR-gvOVkJdL8gI-toQaXTtaGFGIDu0jusBaQ66nGZZktQ_LUv4VmXo9UHcSD1ILhvtkv1ufpmn9AQx0fS-syhxXm5BxhK2lcVuReBqk7G7/s1600/IMG_2265.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBgYOPcZ-UV_4JaezUvruFTAfJf-nKieZ1lLKR-gvOVkJdL8gI-toQaXTtaGFGIDu0jusBaQ66nGZZktQ_LUv4VmXo9UHcSD1ILhvtkv1ufpmn9AQx0fS-syhxXm5BxhK2lcVuReBqk7G7/s320/IMG_2265.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Looks like the sacred waters of Darebin Creek have delivered another miracle.</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-85041063768412466602019-11-01T14:10:00.000+11:002019-11-01T14:10:15.821+11:00Reservoir Security System<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsTHARR_2NSoIgMPcBw_tlZqtnLwPM5irPzxftO-uXls29JR4bVc2rR9UcXgMdS-TFsKzYRp3XPSSQ-zM3psP-Zqh1MN0qhsyEY3pOGFknwrd1NX8OmsEd6b4tQVj1SqexlvKxTWIxk5K4/s1600/IMG_2189.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsTHARR_2NSoIgMPcBw_tlZqtnLwPM5irPzxftO-uXls29JR4bVc2rR9UcXgMdS-TFsKzYRp3XPSSQ-zM3psP-Zqh1MN0qhsyEY3pOGFknwrd1NX8OmsEd6b4tQVj1SqexlvKxTWIxk5K4/s320/IMG_2189.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-80720003603795451782019-10-30T22:46:00.000+11:002019-10-30T22:46:25.084+11:00Happy Halloween From The 'Voir!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEYhjc0Rcx8bWCXR3uC6wk5DX8WTR8l-0lmABLz1CjVRPBCVwUN6VnMPNQZUoRihpiBBis2b6IUak4C-qvyF1iSz3hZ8imoCpfMz_9YhTF5hYMONMf58su8m5MHjiKaHbItXlDGCQW3qbE/s1600/IMG_2303.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1422" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEYhjc0Rcx8bWCXR3uC6wk5DX8WTR8l-0lmABLz1CjVRPBCVwUN6VnMPNQZUoRihpiBBis2b6IUak4C-qvyF1iSz3hZ8imoCpfMz_9YhTF5hYMONMf58su8m5MHjiKaHbItXlDGCQW3qbE/s320/IMG_2303.jpg" width="284" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Halloween is a tricky time in Reservoir. You can never quite be sure what is or isn't a decoration. It's safe to say that Halloween briefly legitimises a lot of what's already going on here every other day though.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-20805862640565111882019-03-08T18:58:00.002+11:002019-03-08T18:58:38.191+11:00AF Mate<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvwEU1te3-Vd-h1XUF5eCXf19DfQEqp3G-ZKb153WlCxDDhCrb9f4UkK6tu2Yiv_tCGjyt2o5mmVPL9BNEoYhx4-KA8L9AfH4jtXEA7XS9xKrMHLELpuIj7UM03nb22LO44sJtr7K03gmy/s1600/MET4L.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1087" data-original-width="1600" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvwEU1te3-Vd-h1XUF5eCXf19DfQEqp3G-ZKb153WlCxDDhCrb9f4UkK6tu2Yiv_tCGjyt2o5mmVPL9BNEoYhx4-KA8L9AfH4jtXEA7XS9xKrMHLELpuIj7UM03nb22LO44sJtr7K03gmy/s320/MET4L.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-24004268730281639882019-03-06T18:48:00.002+11:002019-03-06T18:49:23.452+11:00I Don't Think it Works Like That<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Conversation overheard at Coles between two teenage girls:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Girl 1: "Dya want chips?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Girl 2: (Texting) "Don't care."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Girl 1: "Dya want veggie chips? They're fucken good <i>as</i>."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Girl 2: "What are they?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Girl 1: "They're made of veggies."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Girl 2: "I don't eat vegetables."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-16158604590080422652019-01-02T21:37:00.000+11:002019-01-02T21:41:36.394+11:00Grass is Green<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg43IE_ZplPnQDFmmtePwek2SVLIFtgt-93KtTJUAsrAMkmwf59hAau0DuTt3-vOFYYXnqYya0TCWtz-elDH6sMCEcaxZ9Y2L5zgH8jfTc45YecY8gfIc3G2KoFAdiV7KLNYP_KS_0qGhH/s1600/IMG_0205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg43IE_ZplPnQDFmmtePwek2SVLIFtgt-93KtTJUAsrAMkmwf59hAau0DuTt3-vOFYYXnqYya0TCWtz-elDH6sMCEcaxZ9Y2L5zgH8jfTc45YecY8gfIc3G2KoFAdiV7KLNYP_KS_0qGhH/s320/IMG_0205.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When people think about moving to Reservoir from the inner city they always get a bit anxious that they will lose the lifestyle they are accustomed to. For anyone going through that process right now I'd like to assure you that you have nothing to worry about. You'll still be able to go to cafes and bars. If you're lucky you'll also still get to pick syringes out of your front yard like you used to in Fitzroy too.</span></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-61660792913061752392018-12-22T00:43:00.000+11:002018-12-22T00:43:35.309+11:00Christmas is ruined<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And that's why you don't ever put radiator water in the battery kids.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-3340134026320295542017-02-01T20:19:00.000+11:002017-02-01T20:19:35.448+11:00I Have Needs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQcU3rDDsiZu8IISBduUTGL3o4oDa8yn5wu8b3ZiXWoY9EBKYhxLYkwEXOLSB9cnZHBPQRhrbpq5DzDm8BJyCYEMJh8SW-1eysDL-qQBpdjRn4oCHb7q4YdLqq50OrwBIa8WBSlk9Pgc4I/s1600/IMG_3293.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQcU3rDDsiZu8IISBduUTGL3o4oDa8yn5wu8b3ZiXWoY9EBKYhxLYkwEXOLSB9cnZHBPQRhrbpq5DzDm8BJyCYEMJh8SW-1eysDL-qQBpdjRn4oCHb7q4YdLqq50OrwBIa8WBSlk9Pgc4I/s320/IMG_3293.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In addition to needing the lowest prices everyday, and unlimited in-store feeding rights at the self serve nut bar, I need a trolley with a child seat so large that I can crawl into it when I've had too many cones so that my cranky girlfriend can push me around while I giggle uncontrollably and point at all the cheesy snacks I want.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">After this I will need to go to <a href="http://voirtales.blogspot.com.au/2016/08/well-duuuh.html">Kmart.</a></span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-51145486029853646972017-02-01T18:51:00.000+11:002017-02-01T18:51:07.204+11:00I Heart Mum<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuGHdF2mbPmkzQqie-tzLsFn_02m5anqyHDYudriXVJbS6DkwJM1ujMF0Ng1cBic4hxWW2eY-kmwYsMQ_WpHdr398ScT0xEfRErLjKhGkoUwjBwolfi_QBg8IOR7Cg7LbU1kViXxrXn_CF/s1600/IMG_5146.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuGHdF2mbPmkzQqie-tzLsFn_02m5anqyHDYudriXVJbS6DkwJM1ujMF0Ng1cBic4hxWW2eY-kmwYsMQ_WpHdr398ScT0xEfRErLjKhGkoUwjBwolfi_QBg8IOR7Cg7LbU1kViXxrXn_CF/s320/IMG_5146.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I 💛 u mum. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sorry ur not getting ur bond back 4 the house.</span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-905502003527035942017-01-29T19:39:00.002+11:002017-01-29T19:39:18.907+11:00The Bar Has Been Set<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Overheard at Summerhill shopping centre:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"This place'll never take off. It's not like Burwood."</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-55091878018365935572016-12-20T22:32:00.001+11:002016-12-20T22:32:29.080+11:00I'll make up the spare room for you<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3C1V7Y9UL1jYnFgSMKIfJmVzI8BX2lnD9PXGd3A04AyVizGBlrCCzKJDHQIifnC-Vghukhotddu2PklZMKNlCRm-kEGvxvZ8nhLc5uXCLmh1y1QD4iXEL8w2evuN3o_cj80dOZlwqsEGq/s1600/tent.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3C1V7Y9UL1jYnFgSMKIfJmVzI8BX2lnD9PXGd3A04AyVizGBlrCCzKJDHQIifnC-Vghukhotddu2PklZMKNlCRm-kEGvxvZ8nhLc5uXCLmh1y1QD4iXEL8w2evuN3o_cj80dOZlwqsEGq/s320/tent.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-60967269846312577772016-11-28T23:40:00.000+11:002016-11-28T23:45:50.888+11:00Now it's personal <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Overheard at Summerhill shopping centre (cue the sound of thongs angrily flapping as our protagonist takes his mark): </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"They've wrecked the smokes, they've wrecked the drink, they've wrecked the people...... They've wrecked the fucken <i>food</i>!!"</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-72315549223041530752016-11-28T22:23:00.003+11:002016-11-28T22:23:50.736+11:00The Naughty Corner<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-41231462092787163732016-08-03T20:30:00.000+10:002016-08-03T20:30:09.661+10:00Hot Diggidy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglM1-r4bJ9V6kPnr8myMJ7QaLJ1Mkv-7q3KZFFGUby_kPeDNvl70OeGv8Olp0PYBxDHWq-s5CaswZ_vvLeUGaGUz96k8ig7LxWweWAbZkbKwUzgeNBD-ZQDj0_E9SvD0GW3N4hv5jy6zA0/s1600/Hot+dogs.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglM1-r4bJ9V6kPnr8myMJ7QaLJ1Mkv-7q3KZFFGUby_kPeDNvl70OeGv8Olp0PYBxDHWq-s5CaswZ_vvLeUGaGUz96k8ig7LxWweWAbZkbKwUzgeNBD-ZQDj0_E9SvD0GW3N4hv5jy6zA0/s640/Hot+dogs.JPG" width="460" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large; text-align: left;">I think I can speak for all of Reservoir when I say Sarah does us proud. She may well have been the amateur long shot on the day, but anyone who has ever seen the all-you-can-eat buffet at Food Star being destroyed would have been quietly confident that the Reservoirian would have the edge. I think we can officially add "Weiner's Trophy" to our limited list of motivations to travel southside.</span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-84240957358161036562016-08-02T20:12:00.001+10:002016-08-02T22:52:38.529+10:00Well Duuuh!!<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Link: <a href="http://www.heraldsun.com.au/leader/north/kmart-reservoir-locks-cadbury-chocolate-blocks-in-security-cases/news-story/02fd911819376491cdb7faa64f0129ea" target="_blank">Kmart Reservoir locks Cadbury chocolate blocks in security cases.</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"...at Reservoir Kmart, it appears that sticky-fingered shoppers have taken it a step further, opening so many packets of Cadbury chocolate that management has been forced to bring in DVD-style security cases." </i></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixG-31SZofHIlhtDLPrc5arDJDPSMf0qFNvc6zIWR_4Bt56tvlbAV4pzZE8ZpUgPkPE-3ExSamdMxViPEcgmiX5I9f9lUR2oGLiGpZpq5b1JjYQrKv-1mavVbIVoObiU1Yzs6UD68RcB15/s1600/+Chocolate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixG-31SZofHIlhtDLPrc5arDJDPSMf0qFNvc6zIWR_4Bt56tvlbAV4pzZE8ZpUgPkPE-3ExSamdMxViPEcgmiX5I9f9lUR2oGLiGpZpq5b1JjYQrKv-1mavVbIVoObiU1Yzs6UD68RcB15/s320/+Chocolate.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I just can't believe that anyone seems surprised. It's a 24 hour Kmart in Reservoir for fuck's sake. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Why else would anyone go there at 3am if not to cure the munchies?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Thanks to E for the link</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-31546007387339100802016-07-10T18:23:00.000+10:002016-07-10T18:25:34.023+10:00Wasteland<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeNSEq6me_3-oP2ZtmFeGWdYMhJY9foyY_qlu8U01SwijyE95Y8kz-zsXKWPByPqFIfT8EGl5vYdfETLoixZZAuYYw2787umN9JGBXOk_SvijwBRsnP7QenSybCujypDeUCvVmaeb5Pf1d/s1600/IMG_3361+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeNSEq6me_3-oP2ZtmFeGWdYMhJY9foyY_qlu8U01SwijyE95Y8kz-zsXKWPByPqFIfT8EGl5vYdfETLoixZZAuYYw2787umN9JGBXOk_SvijwBRsnP7QenSybCujypDeUCvVmaeb5Pf1d/s320/IMG_3361+%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This may look like a pile of crap dumped on public land. Really though, it's a portrait of the human spirit in action, and our ability to adapt and find opportunity in unlikely places.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I pass this spot quite regularly, and over the last couple of weeks I've watched something both comical and spectacular unfold. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It all began when a storm hit Reservoir and a huge branch came down from that tree. It lay there for several days without interference, not even capturing the interest of the crew replanting the street trees at the time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It wasn't long though before a local resident did the maths on the nett weight of firewood in that enormous branch, and one day shortly thereafter as I drove by I noticed a bloke had brought a trailer and a chainsaw to the site and was doing a tidy job of cutting the branch into logs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The following day I saw that when our urban lumberjack was done removing his loot he had politely gathered all the leftover leaves and twigs into a pile for someone else to worry about. And t</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">his was where the real fun began.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">No sooner had the pile of leaves and twigs been formed than the locals identified the corner as a dump. The very next day a pile of old kids' crap appeared next to the leaves. The day after that I drove past a guy walking down the street towards the corner with two mattresses balanced precariously on his head. It was awesome how fast everyone adopted a sense of license to dump crap in this fairly arbitrary spot. The fridge though, really, was the crowning moment to my mind. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The dump wound up being noted and cleared surprisingly quickly. A day or two after the photo above was taken the whole pile had been efficiently removed. Mystifyingly though, the waste crew left behind the original pile of leaves and twigs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now as we well know, a pile of leaves and twigs on public land is basically an indicator of a free dumping site, so....</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-70323043945054009312016-07-10T12:35:00.003+10:002016-07-10T12:37:40.435+10:00Seems Legit<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7975810161683103744.post-81763979935768409052016-07-02T23:07:00.001+10:002016-07-02T23:10:17.339+10:00Poll Position<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu1_3LYuoAsC6D_qEHhrdevB8Y3bQM_27YumCBVmHDwxfKJb1Q3fWWDDMGKyZFAkAhIjZk3HBuK6XqZS2HxbKof1hZ6COmxj_j6QYToQpjvjSSj3qMwh5gUrLWjpwefkgHuvM6eQ3yzKfZ/s1600/IMG_3356.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu1_3LYuoAsC6D_qEHhrdevB8Y3bQM_27YumCBVmHDwxfKJb1Q3fWWDDMGKyZFAkAhIjZk3HBuK6XqZS2HxbKof1hZ6COmxj_j6QYToQpjvjSSj3qMwh5gUrLWjpwefkgHuvM6eQ3yzKfZ/s320/IMG_3356.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Definitely the most dedicated campaigner </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've seen </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">this election.</span></div>
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