Carna Pies!

The Grand Final ended a short while ago, and Reservoir has sprung back to life. Mere seconds afterwards, in the distance, a recording of "Pub With No Beer" began to play at full volume, followed by a belligerent yawp of "Carna Pies!!!"
For my overseas readers, or anyone similarly confused: no, the Pies didn't actually play. 

Footnote: I've just had it explained to me that the final siren is when the season starts for a Collingwood supporter. Everything makes a lot more sense now. Everything except the Slim Dusty part. I'm going to assume the pub is a metaphor in this instance.

Brevity is the Soul of Wit

One Day in September

You know at the start of 28 Days Later when the guy walks out of the hospital and there isn't a living soul to be seen or heard anywhere? That's what Reservoir's like during the Grand Final. 
I saw how things panned out for the guy in 28 Days Later. This could be a long night.


I'm always impressed by people who use vanity plates as indicators of superiority, mainly because the 6 character limit necessitates just enough linguistic bastardisation to negate any intended impact. 
I love that they're willing to wear that. And pay for it.
Now if I could just get this guy to park next to GR8NES.

I'm Just Going Outside....

Overheard: "The cunt took me fucken choof! You kids get back in the house! I'm goin' to Johnno's. I'll be back in a while."


For anyone who still doubts the greatness of the 'Voir, I've just stumbled on footage proving that one of our great Australian treasures is a member of the Rezza alumni. 

Link: Poida hosts Sale of the Century

Rezza Win!

Link: Doing the block in Preston
(Please disregard the fact that this headline references Preston rather than Reservoir. This publication has to handle breaking news from over three suburbs weekly, so they can't reasonably be expected to be all over the tiny details.)

"A LARGE and ugly concrete slab, which was used to prop up a Reservoir power pole for six months, has been removed.
Just days after Preston Leader reported that residents were fed up with the concrete block on Oakhill Ave on July 10, power infrastructure company Jemena removed it and stabilised the pole with a steel channel. Resident Jim Logan said the concrete had partially blocked the footpath and had frustrated people for months, but it took workers less than a day to fix.
"It only took them a few hours, the pole is fine," he said. "I was straight onto the phone to my wife Mary, she said 'I don't believe it'."
The concrete had been placed at the site by Jemena on December 30 to stabilise the pole. Mr Logan said the area, once home to former Premier John Cain, was now back to being the nice place it was before the block's arrival."

Personally I'm just amazed this story went to print twice without ever using the term "Block-ade".

Reservoir residents' anger over concrete eyesore

Link: Reservoir residents' anger over concrete eyesore

"RESERVOIR residents are fed up with an ugly concrete block that has propped up an unstable wooden power pole for the past six months.

Nearby resident Jim Logan said the block - placed on a nature strip and footpath on Oakhill Ave - was a massive eyesore.
"You've got to see it to believe it. I wouldn't mind if they put it there for a month but you can't just leave it there (long term) and say this is our solution for holding up power poles," he said.
"It has sat there so long all the grass has grown all over it."
Mr Logan said the block affected a lot of people because it significantly narrowed the footpath.
"Everyone walks their dogs everyday and has to deal with it everyday," he said.
"It's hard for older ladies to get around it."
Electricity infrastructure company Jemena told Leader it placed the concrete at the site on December 30 last year to ensure the pole was safe and secure....."

Learning to Fly

A couple of days ago I was lucky enough to see a biker teaching his son to ride. I was driving down Albert Street in heavy traffic when a man in full leather approached in the opposite direction on his hog. As he took the bend he looked over his shoulder and started waving someone through to his left, whereupon a child on a dirt bike popped into view, in a singlet and board shorts, barefoot. Tucked safely in dad's slipstream, they navigated a double lane right turn together and disappeared from view all too quickly over the crest. 
And to think, if I'd only waited five more minutes to go to Northland(s), I would have missed it all.

teach custom made shoes

Link: teach custom made shoes

would like someone to teach me how to make custom made shoes. mainly concepts. include graphic designs."

I'd personally like to order the first pair of these conceptual shoes including graphic design that you make. They sound amazing. I'm wondering about the likelihood of you finding someone in Reservoir who wants to show you how to make shoes though, and if you do, I would be asking for credentials and a police check before cutting up leather in private with them. Just sayin'.

Grumpy, Sneezy, Doc... and Lung Oyster

This feisty little chap was sent to me by a reader. Apparently even the gnomes are fond of a durrie in Reservoir. Poor fellow looks like he has mouth cancer or a chroming habit, and I'm a bit bothered about what's in his wheelbarrow.

Unconditional Love

At 10.30 tonight a neighbour came out onto the street to call her youngest child in.
"Where are ya?!! Ya big ol' bag a piss, come 'ere!!!"