Gary Had a Little Lamb

Meet Lambchop. In a suburb where the pet du jour is generally a muscle dog, a snake, or a cat with battle wounds and an attention disorder, one resident chose the road less travelled and opted for a lamb, then fattened it up daily for months in the local public park. 
I am informed that this picture captures Lambchop's disaffected, and somewhat embarrassing response to inner city newcomer 'Molly Ringwald'. Molly may well have lost that round, but I'm told that Lambchop hasn't been seen at the park since the outset of Lent. I guess that's game, set and match to Molly.

Thanks to KD for the pic.

An Easter Miracle

I found an Easter egg in my back garden on Sunday. This probably sounds like a lovely Easter surprise to most of you. I was alone though, and I wasn't expecting visitors. I also have a tall fence right around my yard. I don't think I'm remiss in wondering how the fuck it came to be there. Or why.
It's still there. I figure if I ignore it long enough it might disappear. And then I can think about cyclone fencing.

Future Shock

From ABC news: Car hits hydrant in Reservoir 

"Water sprays skywards after a car hit a hydrant in the Melbourne suburb of Reservoir on March 11, 3014."

The ABC's reputation for being ahead of the news was further cemented with this on-the-scene report direct from the next millennium. Good to see everything is still business as usual in Rezza a thousand years from now.

Baby Steps

Every time I drive past this I picture a woman yelling "Well if you're gunna speak to me like that you can bloody well walk home."

Vote 1 'Voir!

I'm proud of many things. I'm proud that I can belch the entire alphabet (though things still get a bit unpleasant from Q through Z). I'm proud that I've taught myself to write left handed in the dead time I've spent in work meetings. I'm proud that when I voted at the local primary school last year I hung around in the cardboard village for an extra fifteen minutes before hitting the sausage sizzle to help an old lady because she wanted to "do all the boxes under the line to stop that Abbott prick getting in". And I'm proud of the fact that I've managed to avoid mowing my lawns for five weeks now without a single comment from my neighbours.
But despite all this, I'm not too proud to beg. 
'Voir Tales is a nominee in the Best Australian Blogs Competition, and I'm posting today to beg you, and your mates, and whoever you can dare at the pub later on, to "Vote 1 'Voir" in the People's Choice section.
All you need to do is click this link right here, select 'Voir Tales, then scroll to the end of the list to register the vote. 
You won't have any trouble finding me. Thanks to my innate grammatical pedantry, and the resultant fact that my blog title starts with an apostrophe of omission, it seems I have managed to score the second position in an alphabetical list of over a thousand blogs, despite starting with a "V". In some ways I feel like I've already won.
Don't let that stop you though. Go on, do it. I'll owe you a beer.

Night on the Prairies

At night they can be seen congregating in parklands in large groups, interacting and foraging in a manner suggestive of a complex social system. By daybreak they will disperse, seeking shelter in the plentiful narrow driveways and overgrown grassy verges in an attempt to avoid capture by the predatory Coles trailer.

Getting Off at Reservoir Station

Link: Couple filmed porn on daytime Melbourne Train

A COUPLE filmed in a pornographic shoot on a Melbourne train could face police action. The video shows a clearly identifiable man and woman engaging in sex acts in broad daylight as they sit in a carriage on the Epping route before getting off at Reservoir Station. At least two unsuspecting passengers are seen in the carriage, one little more than a metre away. The pair are then filmed having sex on the black locomotive in Edwardes Lake Park in Reservoir, a popular spot for children and families.

Spokesman, Sergeant Kris Hamilton, said the pair should be ashamed of themselves. “It is offensive and inappropriate and people caught will be dealt with by police by either copping a fine or being arrested,” he said.
  “I use public transport daily and I’m sure I speak on behalf of other commuters when I say this is not what you want to be subjected to en-route home after a tough day in the office,” Sergeant Hamilton said.

I guess he must take the Eltham line.

With thanks to a reader for the link.