It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
This past weekend everyone put their Christmas decorations up in the 'Voir. It's so nice how everyone here respectfully waits until exactly a month to the day before Christmas to do it. Because putting them up earlier would just be tacky.
I thought of another one...
Singlets, tracky dacks and leisure footwear (sheepskin, Dunlop KT26, slippers etc) are all acceptable social attire, providing you only wear two of the three categories at a time.
Socks with sandals is a no go though. Some things are universal.
Socks with sandals is a no go though. Some things are universal.
A Pink Lamington Occasion
Today is a very special day.
Today is my second Rezzaversary.
I have been blogging about Rezza for less than a year, but I have in fact been an official Rezzadent for two years as of today. Since my auspicious arrival in this suburb I've seen and learnt so many amazing things.
For example, I now know that when fanging a turn at an intersection, a straight six should automatically give way to a V6, and a V6 should automatically give way to a V8, unless the V6 has some sick modifications that trump the V8. If said modifications aren't immediately apparent, some basic call-and-reply revving will quickly clarify right of way. Classic V8's do not have automatic seniority here, as they do in the inner city, but classic hogs do.
I now also know that even though people here drink more than people in Fitzroy (which is an achievement), they do it privately and at a reasonable hour, and therefore it makes sense that you can't buy alcohol after 10pm unless you're playing the pokies, and if your neighbour starts a jackhammer at 8am on Saturday you will seem odd if you try to tell them you were out until 3am and they are hurting your soul.
I now know that in addition to being really adorable loving little guys, Staffies are to the canine world what Toranas are to the automotive world: muscle dogs for chicks.
I know that if I don't bring my bins in or mow my nature strip, the whole street feels awkward, and this embarrasses me.
I know that riding motorbikes barefoot is fine, so long as you've got your helmet.
I know that I can buy 50 varieties of cheese, and spices, and pickles, but can't find a good restaurant after lunch. That's ok - I'm rarely hungry after all that good cheese anyway.
I know all my neighbours' names, and they know mine.
Okay that part is still weird.
Happy National Water Week From the 'Voir!
I know my heading sounds festive, but if I'm completely honest I'd have to say that I'm a bit crapped off. I've just found out that it's National Water Week, and it's Thursday. I don't think it's presumptuous to say that Reservoir has the wettest name, per unit of volume, of any suburb in Australia. Were any keynote Water Week events held in the 'Voir though? The fuck they were.
Love My Family
One of my favourite things about Reservoir is not being constantly bombarded with "My Family" stickers on rear windows of cars. Up here people are reminded often enough of the curse of fertility without having to create false idols in its honour.
A couple of days ago I saw my first one though. There was a sticker of a guy with a toolbelt and next to it a sticker of a dog, on a panel van with a trailer. Bet he does alright at Zagame's on a Saturday night.
A couple of days ago I saw my first one though. There was a sticker of a guy with a toolbelt and next to it a sticker of a dog, on a panel van with a trailer. Bet he does alright at Zagame's on a Saturday night.
The Customer is Always Right 2
Summerhill Safeway has now replaced half of its "Healthy Foods" section with a wall display for Pepsi New. It wasn't a particularly large section to begin with, so I'm not sure if this is an indictment of the people's feelings about the Macro buyout, or of Pepsico's relevance as a market innovator. Either way I'm excited. It's not every day that cola flavour as we know it is revolutionised.
The Customer is Always Right
I get the sense that Summerhill Safeway has finally done some number crunching. I walked into the bottle shop tonight to find that four of the seven aisles of wine had been completely removed, and the newly liberated floorspace had been replaced with giant pyramids of slabs. I've got to admit that it's a lot simpler to shop there now. When you stop frigging around with varietals and vintages and only have to choose between red, white, goon, slab or spirits it's a much quicker process.
My tongue feels weird.
My tongue feels weird.
Happy International Lesbian Day from the 'Voir!
I'm informed that today is International Lesbian Day. I feel it's a bit shortsighted of this event to overlook all our lovely Domestic Lesbians though, so on behalf of greater Reservoir, I would like to say "Happy Lesbian Day Resbians!". May you continue to leave your unmistakable mark on this suburb.
Wobbie's World
Link: Melbourne Playgrounds - Your guide to fun things for kids to do in Melbourne!
Edwardes Lake Park, Griffiths Street, Reservoir
"Has a full size A2 class locomotive on display. The train is fenced off but it is possible to enter the driver's compartment and pretend that you are driving Douglas (or at least have a good healthy discussion as to which train it is from Sodor). The playground near the Athletics track and train is poor with broken down, old equipment. There is only one swing without a safety chain. Plenty of BBQs with sheltered tables. Near lake with lots of waterbirds. Toilets when they are not closed for repair - are they waiting for the Queen to visit for a grand re-opening ceremony?"
I wonder what a one star park is like.
Edwardes Lake Park, Griffiths Street, Reservoir
"Has a full size A2 class locomotive on display. The train is fenced off but it is possible to enter the driver's compartment and pretend that you are driving Douglas (or at least have a good healthy discussion as to which train it is from Sodor). The playground near the Athletics track and train is poor with broken down, old equipment. There is only one swing without a safety chain. Plenty of BBQs with sheltered tables. Near lake with lots of waterbirds. Toilets when they are not closed for repair - are they waiting for the Queen to visit for a grand re-opening ceremony?"
I wonder what a one star park is like.
Not Just a Clever Name
Link: Raid nets cannabis plants in Reservoir house
POLICE raided a house in Reservoir where they found 85 mature cannabis plants today.
"Early indications are it's a commercial quantity of cannabis...''
Sgt Brilliant said.
POLICE raided a house in Reservoir where they found 85 mature cannabis plants today.
"Early indications are it's a commercial quantity of cannabis...''
Sgt Brilliant said.
Back Passage
Anyone who has made their way right into the guts of this blog will know how excited I get about the Pole Princess exotic dance academy.
If not, here are some quick links:
Somehow though, their most public, and perhaps informative, piece of signage managed to escape my notice until just a couple of days ago.
Carna Pies!
The Grand Final ended a short while ago, and Reservoir has sprung back to life. Mere seconds afterwards, in the distance, a recording of "Pub With No Beer" began to play at full volume, followed by a belligerent yawp of "Carna Pies!!!"
For my overseas readers, or anyone similarly confused: no, the Pies didn't actually play.
Footnote: I've just had it explained to me that the final siren is when the season starts for a Collingwood supporter. Everything makes a lot more sense now. Everything except the Slim Dusty part. I'm going to assume the pub is a metaphor in this instance.
For my overseas readers, or anyone similarly confused: no, the Pies didn't actually play.
Footnote: I've just had it explained to me that the final siren is when the season starts for a Collingwood supporter. Everything makes a lot more sense now. Everything except the Slim Dusty part. I'm going to assume the pub is a metaphor in this instance.
One Day in September
You know at the start of 28 Days Later when the guy walks out of the hospital and there isn't a living soul to be seen or heard anywhere? That's what Reservoir's like during the Grand Final.
I saw how things panned out for the guy in 28 Days Later. This could be a long night.
I saw how things panned out for the guy in 28 Days Later. This could be a long night.
AWSSUM
I'm always impressed by people who use vanity plates as indicators of superiority, mainly because the 6 character limit necessitates just enough linguistic bastardisation to negate any intended impact.
I love that they're willing to wear that. And pay for it.
Now if I could just get this guy to park next to GR8NES.
I'm Just Going Outside....
Overheard: "The cunt took me fucken choof! You kids get back in the house! I'm goin' to Johnno's. I'll be back in a while."
Birthright
For anyone who still doubts the greatness of the 'Voir, I've just stumbled on footage proving that one of our great Australian treasures is a member of the Rezza alumni.
Link: Poida hosts Sale of the Century
Link: Poida hosts Sale of the Century
Rezza Win!
Link: Doing the block in Preston
(Please disregard the fact that this headline references Preston rather than Reservoir. This publication has to handle breaking news from over three suburbs weekly, so they can't reasonably be expected to be all over the tiny details.)
"A LARGE and ugly concrete slab, which was used to prop up a Reservoir power pole for six months, has been removed.
Just days after Preston Leader reported that residents were fed up with the concrete block on Oakhill Ave on July 10, power infrastructure company Jemena removed it and stabilised the pole with a steel channel. Resident Jim Logan said the concrete had partially blocked the footpath and had frustrated people for months, but it took workers less than a day to fix.
"It only took them a few hours, the pole is fine," he said. "I was straight onto the phone to my wife Mary, she said 'I don't believe it'."
The concrete had been placed at the site by Jemena on December 30 to stabilise the pole. Mr Logan said the area, once home to former Premier John Cain, was now back to being the nice place it was before the block's arrival."
Personally I'm just amazed this story went to print twice without ever using the term "Block-ade".
(Please disregard the fact that this headline references Preston rather than Reservoir. This publication has to handle breaking news from over three suburbs weekly, so they can't reasonably be expected to be all over the tiny details.)
"A LARGE and ugly concrete slab, which was used to prop up a Reservoir power pole for six months, has been removed.
Just days after Preston Leader reported that residents were fed up with the concrete block on Oakhill Ave on July 10, power infrastructure company Jemena removed it and stabilised the pole with a steel channel. Resident Jim Logan said the concrete had partially blocked the footpath and had frustrated people for months, but it took workers less than a day to fix.
"It only took them a few hours, the pole is fine," he said. "I was straight onto the phone to my wife Mary, she said 'I don't believe it'."
The concrete had been placed at the site by Jemena on December 30 to stabilise the pole. Mr Logan said the area, once home to former Premier John Cain, was now back to being the nice place it was before the block's arrival."
Personally I'm just amazed this story went to print twice without ever using the term "Block-ade".
Reservoir residents' anger over concrete eyesore
Link: Reservoir residents' anger over concrete eyesore
"RESERVOIR residents are fed up with an ugly concrete block that has propped up an unstable wooden power pole for the past six months.
"RESERVOIR residents are fed up with an ugly concrete block that has propped up an unstable wooden power pole for the past six months.
Nearby resident Jim Logan said the block - placed on a nature strip and footpath on Oakhill Ave - was a massive eyesore.
"You've got to see it to believe it. I wouldn't mind if they put it there for a month but you can't just leave it there (long term) and say this is our solution for holding up power poles," he said.
"It has sat there so long all the grass has grown all over it."
Mr Logan said the block affected a lot of people because it significantly narrowed the footpath.
"Everyone walks their dogs everyday and has to deal with it everyday," he said.
"It's hard for older ladies to get around it."
Electricity infrastructure company Jemena told Leader it placed the concrete at the site on December 30 last year to ensure the pole was safe and secure....."
"You've got to see it to believe it. I wouldn't mind if they put it there for a month but you can't just leave it there (long term) and say this is our solution for holding up power poles," he said.
"It has sat there so long all the grass has grown all over it."
Mr Logan said the block affected a lot of people because it significantly narrowed the footpath.
"Everyone walks their dogs everyday and has to deal with it everyday," he said.
"It's hard for older ladies to get around it."
Electricity infrastructure company Jemena told Leader it placed the concrete at the site on December 30 last year to ensure the pole was safe and secure....."
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