Master of Disguise

View From the Top

View of the city skyline from Plenty Road, East Reservoir.

View of the city skyline from Plenty Road, East Reservoir, without zoom.

You Knock 'em, We Frock 'em

There always seems to be a decent number of mattresses amongst the piles of refuse behind the now defunct Maternity Mode store. I can't tell if it's incidental irony, if it's a form of symbolic revolt against the fertility gods who singled out certain unfortunate local couples, or if it's just a means of simplifying the complicated arena of teen dating. 

I'll find you

I'm not sure if this is an irreverent cultural reference or a cry for help. 

The fact that it's across the road from an aquarium suggests that it may just be a rather lazy, if not sadistic, approach to fishing though.

Reservoir Lightning

Link: Blaze guts house damaged in flooding

"No one was home at the time, as the family were living elsewhere after experiencing extensive water damage caused during the Christmas Day floods. Fire investigators will attend the property early today to determine the cause."

People often don't realise they aren't covered for flood damage until it's too late. 

In Reservoir though, people know how to create opportunity out of adversity.


With thanks to Donald for the link.

Face Plant

The migration of trolleys around Reservoir may seem symptomatic of a certain lawlessness to some, or to others may just be an eyesore. To me though, it is symbolic of the power of the everyman.

In Reservoir trolleys aren't coin operated. They were once, briefly; occasionally you find yourself pushing a trolley with the stump of a prehensile coin chain still attached. Unlike other suburbs though, people in Reservoir quickly realised that a trolley is worth far more than a dollar, and they continued to nick them. They refused to be deterred by this pecuniary obstacle as people so frequently are in more affluent suburbs, where it is not uncommon to see freshly coiffed women-of-society wilfully maiming themselves to retrieve a coin before retreating to their Range Rovers. 

The people of Reservoir won. The chains were cut, and both Safeway and Coles employed permanent staff to drive around the suburb with trailers reclaiming trolleys, day after day, week after week. I hear their distant rattles sometimes in the early morning as they claim their cargo, and I throw a tiny ineffectual air punch in my half-sleep.

Of course from time to time locals are still distracted from the trolley's basic functionality and can't help but ride around on them when drunk, occasionally face planting one into a garden or creek. 

We're only human, after all.

High Hope

The fact that Target moved away is testament to how well this went. 

The fact that Coles didn't bother to paint out the Target logo afterwards is a decent indicator of how beaten they already were on the whole trolley thing.

Path of Least Resistance

Sex assault charges

Cameron Best   |  January 18th, 2012
POLICE have charged a man following an alleged indecent assault in Geelong's CBD on Sunday.

A 31-year-old man from Reservoir was charged with assault with intent to rape and indecent assault.

Following negotiations, the man was arrested at Geelong police station and appeared in an out-of-sessions court hearing last night.

It speaks volumes for the great spirit of Reservoir women that our rapists feel it is easier to conduct their business in Geelong than on home turf.

The Second Most Depressing Coles in Reservoir

This Coles adjoins a cavernous disused retail space that used to be a Target. That's right - even Target didn't want to stick around. It is only the second most depressing Coles in Reservoir on account of the fact that it sells real coffee and has a bottle shop. Mind you, of all the bottle shops I've visited across the world, this one stocks the least number of drinks that I would be prepared to imbibe, and I can't pretend to have particularly high standards.

I have a sort of preemptive sentimentality for this Coles. Before long it is going to be levelled to make way for an apartment high rise. I already know that when this happens I will hold on fondly to the memory of the troughed out surfaces in the carpark that are never repaired, and the touching product directory signs that are hand typed in Word and sticky taped onto the end of each aisle in a plastic pocket. I bet if they open another Coles in the new development the checkout chicks won't be half as nice either.